


All my Heart

by egosoffire



Series: Ben and Poe -- Young Love. [11]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: I made myself tear up, M/M, Sadness, yeah sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-07 23:02:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13445262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egosoffire/pseuds/egosoffire
Summary: Part 11 in a series of drabbles/ficlets about the pre-canon relationship of Ben Solo and Poe Dameron.Ben makes a choice and feels like everything is ending.





	All my Heart

Ben watched Poe for a long time as the pilot slept beside him. He was truly the most beautiful creature in the galaxy. Ben loved him, and he knew that love was going to eventually be the thing that destroyed them.

“You’re everything to me,” Ben murmured aloud. “Just know that, Dameron.”

Even though Poe was asleep, he turned in towards Ben, his face indicating that maybe he understood.

This wasn’t a choice that Ben was making lightly. His heart felt like it was being torn in two. It had been for a long time. He loved Poe Dameron with all of his heart, but he wasn’t sure that their destinies would ever collide again. He was going back to the temple, to Luke Skywalker, the next day.

He could feel his uncle’s pain and fear. He saw what Ben was feeling, what Ben was dealing with and he hated it. Ben could honestly feel his uncle’s hate for him.

When it came down to it, Ben didn’t want to be a Jedi. He wanted to be the man who brought the Jedi order down once and for all. He knew that he could. Snoke was constantly whispering in the back of his mind, telling him so.

He wanted Poe to follow and he hoped that someday he would. He knew, for now, at least, that this was not going to be possible. The only thing that meant more to Poe than Ben himself was the cause of the Resistance, the thing he was willing to fight for with all of his heart and soul.

“I feel like this is the last time I’m going to see you,” he admitted to the sleeping man, watching him with a grim expression on his face. He was devastated by this thought, but he had to be strong. He _was_ strong. “I hope it’s not.”

He understood that whatever happened when he returned to Luke Skywalker, it was going to change him forever. That tension was coming to a peak, and he was sure that it was going to continue to build, regardless of what he did to ebb the flow.

He took off the ring Poe had given him, his mother’s. He couldn’t keep it, not when he knew what was potentially going to come their way. He slipped it off his finger and laid it on the pillow next to Poe’s head.

“Whatever happens,” he murmured, laying a kiss on the man’s forehead. Poe, the heavy sleeper he could sometimes be, did not move. “Whatever happens, I love you. I love you with all of my heart.”

Then, he made his choice.


End file.
